What did that teach you about you?

What did that moment just teach you about yourself?

You just flipped out, lost your cool, yelled, or otherwise found yourself dysregulated. Now you’re upset that you flipped out, feeling guilt or shame, beating yourself up for what you wish you had done, and are questioning why is it so hard for you to stay calm? 

Why did they get to you like that? Why are you like this? Why can’t you control yourself better?

Rather than ruminate or get lost in spending minutes wishing things had been different or even blaming others, try asking…..what does that moment teach me about me?

Change doesn't happen unless we first identify a need for it and then make an adjustment and then live it. We can’t do any of that without first reflecting and asking, what does how I just handled that moment teach me about me?

Our first step is to recognize what emotion we’re feeling or what triggered us to feel or react the way we did. Next is to accept that this is how we are and accept the moment for what it was. Then we investigate what happened to try to understand what we could have done differently. Lastly, we nurture ourselves. We’re human. We’re all doing our best and we can do better. 

If you’re asking these questions of yourself, you’re already making adjustments that can help you teach you about you so you can learn about the most important person in your life…you.  

So the next time something doesn’t go the way you were hoping…stop asking what's wrong with me and instead ask what does this teach me about myself.